Learning how to rise again when everything seems against you—when the chips are down and life has knocked the wind out of you—is perhaps the most enlightening, if painful, experience you can face. I learned this the hard way. At 40, I left a marriage that was slowly killing me, not just emotionally, but physically too. I walked away with two little girls, aged one and four, no money, no home, no career, mounting debt that had landed in my name, and ill health that left me exhausted before the day even began. I fell hard—harder than I ever thought possible.
Before this, life had been a charmed existence. I had a thriving career, a beautiful home, nice cars, exotic holidays, a buzzing social life, and a supportive family. Money was never an issue, and I rarely worried. Life felt secure, predictable, and joyous. So when it all fell away, it hit with a force I couldn’t have imagined. Suddenly, I was staring down the possibility of council housing, no income, and the daunting responsibility of shielding my girls from the fallout of our family’s collapse. The dramatic shift in their lives and the ongoing battle between their parents weighed heavily on me.
To say I hit rock bottom multiple times would be an understatement. Each time I thought I had reached the lowest point, life somehow managed to go further. It became almost darkly comical: “This can’t possibly get worse,” I’d think—and yet, it did. But the very last time I truly hit rock bottom, I realized the only way forward was up. To climb out, I had to find an unwavering faith in myself, a battle that raged inside my mind and soul like nothing I had ever experienced.
I had to learn to breathe underwater while someone metaphorically stood on my head. I had to accept my reality before I could change it, and then trust, deep down, that I could find a way out. And after long months of soul-searching, I did.
I turned the skills I had from my marketing career—years spent building global brands—on myself. I created a “marketing project” around my own life. It sounds strange, but it worked. Life, I realized, isn’t always a predictable sequence: school, college, university, career, marriage, kids, work, retirement. Sometimes it throws you off the cliff with no roadmap. That was my reality. I had no knight in shining armor, no safety net, and two little girls depending almost entirely on me. I panicked. I felt utterly lost.
Looking in the mirror, I saw a woman who had aged, whose youthful energy had faded, who was chronically fatigued, struggling with digestion, and plagued by headaches. I didn’t trust my judgment anymore. The pressing need was money, but I was five years out of the workforce, caring for a baby and a toddler, and the marketing world had moved on at lightning speed. Meanwhile, I had been trapped in the exhausting minutiae of early motherhood and a failing marriage.
The marriage itself was toxic. My ex-husband and I had irreconcilable differences in our values and beliefs, which led to resentment on both sides. I wasn’t strong enough to assert myself, overly empathetic to his struggles, and my soul withered as I tried to change myself to fit a situation that was slowly killing me. My body rebelled: shingles, hives, crippling headaches, chronic fatigue. My mum urged me to “be the strong one,” but I couldn’t ignore the warning signs any longer. I had to leave. Leaving meant walking away from every semblance of security in my life, but staying meant slowly dying inside.
I was broken, lost, and terrified. I wanted to disappear. I wanted to go to bed and not wake up. And yet, I was lucky. I had a rich history of life experiences, amazing travels, wild adventures, and a family that had taught me resilience through their own experiences. I had peed in the shadow of Everest, danced on the streets of Rio Carnival, made lifelong friends, and seen life’s beauty in its most raw, exhilarating forms. I knew happiness was possible—but getting divorced felt like a wrecking ball had obliterated my world. I went from social butterfly to recluse, from confidence to self-loathing. I had no plan, no safety net, just two small girls depending on me.
So, I began again. I created a brand strategy for myself, defining my mission, vision, and values. I realized I wasn’t as timid or voiceless as I thought. I had passion and strong opinions. My mission became simple: “To be a healthy, successful, and happy role model for my children.” My vision asked a crucial question: Would I show up in life as a victim, or as the hero of my story? Life is a narrative we can consciously shape, and I decided mine would be intentional, not fatalistic.
I discovered the transformative power of self-image, mind-body connection, and extreme self-care. I cut out wheat, dairy, and sugar, started gentle jogging and yoga, and began seeing the old me emerge from the thorns that life had forced me through. My values—time over money, freedom in relationships, respect, care for my body and soul—became my anchors. I embraced a conscious, deliberate lifestyle, decluttering both my physical and emotional spaces to align with my vision.
Life became an adventure again. I learned resilience by picking myself up after each tumble, manifesting possibilities through intention, and trusting life even when I couldn’t control it. I learned that to live fully, I had to risk failure, embrace joy, and sometimes run headlong into metaphorical walls. Each experience, however painful or humiliating, was part of the path to rediscovering myself.
Now, I live a life guided by mission, values, and vision. I am creating an intentional, adventurous, conscious lifestyle for myself and my girls. I embrace joy, fun, health, and purposeful living. I choose experiences over possessions, quality over quantity, and freedom over societal expectation. I have learned that happiness, resilience, and fulfillment are built from within and nurtured with deliberate action.
The moral of my story? Trust yourself, your intuition, and your power to create the life you want. Life will challenge you, but it also gives you the tools to rise. Every setback is fuel for growth, every heartbreak a step toward authenticity, every failure a lesson in resilience. Our energy is contagious, and when we live fully and consciously, we inspire others to do the same.
We have one life, and it is fleeting. It is never too late to start again—with wisdom, courage, and appreciation. Be the trailblazer, the life-giver, the game-changer. Your energy can light the world, and the mission is yours to accept.
