I have a confession to make.
Some days, I don’t feel like praying. Some days, I don’t even want to open my Bible. Some mornings, getting out of bed feels impossible. Suffering has a way of trying to steal our faith daily, and I have to fight for mine with every ounce of strength I have.
Suffering is something nearly everyone experiences, yet few speak about it honestly. There’s a lot of “just pray harder” advice floating around in faith communities. Yes, prayer is powerful, but it’s meant to be our intimate communication with God—not a magic formula to make all our wishes come true.
God’s will plays a central role in how prayers are answered, and that’s crucial to understand, especially when the answers don’t match our desires. Please, never accuse someone who is suffering of not praying hard enough—it’s deeply hurtful. I have cried out for healing for my boys, my tears reaching up to Heaven, yet God allows this disease to remain in our lives for reasons I may never fully understand.
Let me be honest.
Maybe you’ve read my posts before and felt inspired by what seemed like unwavering faith. If so, I hope you will still find inspiration here. My faith is strong, but it is something I fight for daily. I hope my openness, my vulnerability in sharing these truths, encourages others to feel less alone in their struggles.
As someone who has faced countless trials, I know what it’s like to feel isolated in pain. If you’re walking through that darkness, please know—you are not alone. You may have wondered where God is in your suffering, and perhaps even felt guilty for having those thoughts. I’ve been there too, and I can tell you: it does not make you a “bad Christian.”
Here’s what I want to make clear:
My faith is a daily battle. Some days, I go through the motions, struggling to reignite a fire that once burned so brightly. Other days, I lift my hands in worship, overwhelmed by God’s love for me. My faith isn’t a performance—it’s real, raw, and filled with both joy and sorrow. Faith, like life itself, is something we must actively pursue.
My life is beautiful, but it is also extraordinarily hard.
My two sons live with a degenerative disease, and watching them struggle nearly breaks me every day. I also battle anxiety, depression, and PTSD. If you’re in a season of suffering, know that you are not fighting alone. God is beside you. He sees you, He hears you, and He honors your courage each day.
If anyone thinks following Christ means living a simple, tranquil life, they’ve probably never read the Bible. Paul endured immense suffering, yet he wrote thirteen books of the Bible—including Philippians, often called the happiest book in Scripture, written from prison. Job faced unspeakable tragedy, yet he remained faithful, even while crying out in despair. David, despite lifelong struggles, is remembered as a man after God’s own heart because he consistently turned to God with everything. Elijah battled depression. Jonah wrestled with obedience. Joseph endured years of suffering before any relief came.
The truth is, suffering is woven into the story of our faith. The Bible itself is full of stories of pain, including Jesus—the ultimate suffering servant. If you are enduring hardship, remember: you are in good company. Life is filled with hills and valleys, ups and downs, but God never leaves us alone in the journey.
“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.” – Isaiah 43:2
Even when I feel broken and alone, I know God is with me. I trust that He has a plan for my life—one full of love, purpose, and joy, even if I cannot fully understand it. His ways are higher than mine, and I rest in that truth.
So here’s my message to anyone struggling to hold onto faith in life’s storms: keep fighting. It is not easy to trust God blindly when all you see is pain. It is hard to remain strong when you don’t feel like fighting anymore, but don’t give up. When we are weak, He is strong. Fight the good fight, finish the race, and hold fast to your faith. God is cheering for you—and so am I.
“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” – 2 Timothy 4:7
